Monkeys

Well, let’s put it this way: if you were to be locked inside a phone box for half an hour with: a) a monkey, or b) a lion, there you go! What would you go for? – Richard Hammond

The lion. – James May

What? – Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson

No, because monkeys, in confined spaces, those Barbary monkeys, they panic and they get really, incredibly violent. – James May

I love the way that James thinks that monkeys are, in some way, the greatest peril that we’re facing… in the next hour of our lives. – Jeremy Clarkson, “Top Gear”

Whinging

We’ve got no bloody forks! – Richard Hammond

Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man! And don’t jig about because we’re climbing… We’re struggling in a minute… – James May

I am not jigging! How rubbish is this thing if I can’t even lift a chocolate bar to my face without it crashing into a mountain? – Richard Hammond

Plane versus car

Now normally when we have these races Jeremy goes in a car and says “POWEEEEEEER” a lot, and Richard and I will go on a ferry, or a train, or an airliner, or whatever. But this time it’s slightly different because I’ve been learning to fly. – James May

So you see, the scene was set, okay? It would be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage in a private plane versus me in a car. – Jeremy Clarkson, “Top Gear”

Hat

Now, I’m dying to know the verdict, but first, something more important… your hat! What were you thinking?! You were like the dog car in Dumb and Dumber. – Richard Hammond

Listen! That hat is haute couture in rallying circles. – James May, “Top Gear”

Wetsuit

It does still look a bit like the inside of Jacques Cousteau’s wetsuit in here. – James May, “Top Gear”

Clock

Right, the battery is discharging, the oil temperature is very high, the oil pressure is very low, the engine temperature is off the end of the scale, I’m running out of petrol… but the clock is correct! – James May, “Top Gear”

Electricity

No, I just had to stop and fill it up with electricity. – James May, “Top Gear”

Electricity

The Italians invented electricity, as we all know. – James May, “Top Gear”

Stuffed

Hang on, I’ve just noticed something here. Of the bottom 13 cars, 10 of them are French. – James May
Yea, that’s probably why they’re burning so many in Paris … What? A satisfied Mercedes customer? In the immortal words of Basil Fawlty, we ought to have him stuffed. – Jeremy Clarkson, “Top Gear”

Bat Out of Hell

If you do choose to vote for Bat Out of Hell then we will come round and cut off YOUR electricity! – James May, “Top Gear”